Thursday, April 28, 2005

A mind

Why I came here, I know not; where I shall go it is useless to inquire, where I want to go seems a mere dream.

A mind consumed with thoughts.
A mind made of choices that I dreaded choosing.
A mind made of fear that was built by my own steps.
A mind driven to make more choices, that will lead me to where I know not.
A mind so ever changing that when it's all said and done, the mind will never rest.
A mind driven in all directions, but only by the directions it choose to take.
A mind so open, that any one can jump in.
A mind so free that the underlying problem, is the freeness of said mind.
A mind so chiseled that it's built properly and it won't bow to temptations.
A mind made to make choices that will last a life time.
A mind made, don't try to change it.
A mind that knows in the end it really doesn't matter.

It's useless to inquire, especially about tomorrow, because tomorrow only exist in our minds.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Your already gone

I feel you distant. I know you want me, but I'm here right next to you. Can't you tell? At times I know I may feel like I'm away, but I'm preoccupied with self. I've been here be for, and in fact I've been you. On the outside looking in, thinking how I can break through the barrier. Time would be the answer, but most are so impatient. They want what they want when they wanted. They need to be satisfied on their time. I don't blame you. The calls are less, the smiles are few and far between. I wonder you even remember my scent across your nose. I'm sorry, but I can't, I can't see through and pass now. My intentions are good, but the result never ends up like I've planned. The best thing comes to those who wait, and I am the best thing, but I can't find anyone willing to wait. I guess to have joy one must share it. Happiness was born a twin, but I can't find anyone willing to wait. What's the rush? We're young and time moves along, as we do.

I can't help it if I want to grow, I can't help if I want to flow. Sometimes wanting both alone, and sometimes wanting both with someone. That special special someone is the one that stands alone, independent, and not dependent on me or my touch. A lone wolf and a stellar personality. We have the rest of our lives to be together, why smother now? Why exhaust all possibilities now, when the dry patch comes after the kids and the house come? Answer these questions, justify your answers. I'm here. I can't go any where, it's not time yet. I need time to breath, time to visualize you in my future, but you want to go. You want to make the future happen now, instead of taking our time. Your already gone as I write this. By me writing this it's already too late. It's already a mental picture that you see, and that picture doesn't include me. To bad, to bad for us, but as the saying goes "The busy have no time for tears."

Your already gone, but you don't realize that we could have been together alone!

What moves you?

"I've been unhappy poor, and I've been unhappy rich. If I had to be one of the two, I'd rather be unhappy rich." -Burt Reynolds

Riches, they don't make you, they don't define you, but they do accent you. Sorta like Lawry's on chicken, or ketchup on French Fries. Most would say their rich inside, rich in health, and in God. That's good. I'm sure we're looking for the wheel to come full circle, but at the end of the day, our lively hood is what gives us our smile. We try very hard to make it. Some more than others, but even still we try. What moves you? Is it your family? Is it your friends, or is it envy? It may just be something inside of you. Some burning flame that wont go out. There is a saying that goes "You only live twice. Once through life, and another through your dreams." The hard part about that is trying to make your dreams come through your life. We often try, but most often obtain goals rather than dreams. We obtain our goals like graduating college and making a salary, but are dreams are something like sailing around the world on a yacht, or owning a building in every major city in the world. That would be great!

So what moves you? Is it because your predecessors didn't make it, or is it because your just plain old unhappy? It's okay to be unhappy. It's okay not to be in a state of clarity. What's not okay is not doing something about it. We must prevail if we want to succeed.

I have a flame in me that burns so high and hot that it will scorch my soul if I stop. What moves me is my skin color, my masculinity, and my brain power. I know that I won't rest well unless I am able to see my self where I want to be. Where I want to be doesn't change much, but the road to get there changes frequently. What moves you?

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Ultrasonic

Strong hands, firm muscles. I'm standing as the moon light shines above my shoulders. It's mysterious how I appear, and even though this night is not abnormal, my presence brings a sudden rush to your soul. You see the sparkle in my eyes through the candle light, and that calms your anxiety. You want me closer, but it's not about you. It's about moving you, without touching you. It's about our souls touching without even speaking a single word. I'm moving around like an ultrasonic through your body as I stare into your body, without any eye contact. You shiver. Why do you shiver? You extend an invitation to touch your silky soft skin, but I have no interest in the flesh. I want your mind, your heart, and your soul. I want you to desire me more than you desire getting pleased tonight. Forget about what you want, it's all about me.

Your patiently waiting for contact and even though I want you, I still wait for the right moment. The moment were you can't take it anymore. The moment when you begin to touch yourself.... Not there! Your touching your arms, your face, running your own fingers through your hair. I'm amazed. This is what I'm looking for. Please yourself, and I will only add to this moment. No rose petals, soft music, just us along with the moment, the candle and the moon light creeping through the window.

Finally, I place my hands own your shoulders, your skin is warm, soft, and lightly glazed by oil. These moments don't come by often, so we have to maximize this opportunity. We must forget about the disagreements, the arguing, and the selfish motives that we have. In order for this to work, we must be here right now, more mentally than ever. Souls don't meet often, and there is no time to reflect. Seize this moment. Let my ultrasonic waves touch your soul, let my mind touch your erotic places.... If I can't get there with your mind, I don't even want to physically touch you. Let my words trigger your desires, and let my eyes weaken your thoughts.

I want to move through your body like an ultrasonic... Do you think I can?

Monday, April 25, 2005

Ordinarily Extraordinary

To those who do their best when know one is looking.
To those who realize that life is not just about when people are looking.

We realize that, the after life is more important than now, and what we do now echoes in eternity. Remember that, always remember that.
Don't shove things in the closet. Someone is always watching. We tend to be professionals in public and in private we tend to be careless.

I've learned that it counts just as much in private as it does in public. In fact, if you build yourself in private when no one is looking, you will find that the repetition will make your reputation.

Those that do the ordinary things extraordinary are special to me. The ones that respect everyone not just when it counts. It's hard I know, but the hardest things are worth working for.

Friday, April 22, 2005

Off the beaten track

A bit off the beaten track I was. A bit away from the normal hustle I wanted to be. I was granted my wish, and it was so. Away I stayed, inside I layed. I kept to myself, while embracing myself. You all spoke of living on an island, but my island was in my mind. I was constantly on an island by myself.

A bit off the beaten track. A bit away from everyone else. I choose this life, because it made me feel like no one else. I'm glad for it, because I was stronger than everyone else. Robert Frost once said "I took the road less traveled, and that made all the difference." I took the road less traveled and ended up finding another road. A road that was full, but I had to go there. It was were I could find my answers, but everyone was their. It was you, and you, what could I do. I stayed the course and kept low key, but still I found a few like me. They were cool and quite, never spoke too much. They had many thoughts, all that resembled people like us. It was once said that no great thing is done alone, so when I realized this I opened up more. I was surprised to see so much more.

A bit off the beat track, some things were out of whack. I stayed away from the most traveled road, stayed on course and choose to never go back. I smiled at the top, and cried at the bottom. I'm glad I choose to never go back off of the old beaten track.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

at all

Your not the only one that knows pain. Put the pass down, know time is better than now, no time at all.

Your not the only one that has problems. Don't let the problems deepen the pain, not at all.

Anytime you need me friend, I'm always hear for you, no time to fall.

Forget about what the others have to say. They don't know you well, forget them all.

I believe in you, if you believe in yourself, believe me now, know time to fall.

Everyone indeed has problems, everyone indeed has pain. Don't forget that, not at all.

I know the pain cuts real deep, but it doesn't matter, not at all.
Everyone is here for self, just remember that, then you will not fall.

So, no time is better than now, to brace yourself, don't try to fall.
Everyone is watching your moves, so don't began to fail, no time to fall.

I got your back believe you me, I know your pain, I've been through it all.
When you look at me, believe in me, I'm here for you, forget them all.

So, anytime you need me friend, nothing is better than now, nothing at all.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Drones

Good times

Spring time
Country time
My time
Family time
Work time
Movie time
Dinner time
Summer time
Real time
Down time
Lunch time
Drink time
Think time
Friendly time

I woke up this morning and the sun hit my face, my brown eyes opened and my day began. While looking in the mirror I noticed a difference. I noticed
wisdom in my eyes, pain in my distinct features, and youth in my smile. I wonder were the pain comes from? Have I lived a hard life? I beg to differ.
Although my writings convey hard thoughts, and thinking, all of these experiences aren't through my own eyes. You see smart people learn from their own
mistakes and wise people learn from others.

While driving to work I noticed drones. People with predetermined paths. Some paths carved for the rest of their lives, and others for the moment. As I try
my hardest not to blend in, my traps are even deeper. I have a stack of goals that reaches the top of the Empire State bldg. I have a predetermined path
that makes me more of a drone than anyone else. The DC struggle, the commute, the bureaucracy. All things which make me a slave. What makes me different?
What makes you different? Is it because you consider yourself different, or is it because you set out to be different? Do you know how hard it is to not
live this mundane lifestyle. How much effort it takes to be, without being involved.

As I reflect on the good times. I wonder, am I a slave to my words? Am I drone preprogrammed by this enigma. I am perplexed, and the only thing for me to
do is to challenge my own mind. Challenge my drive, bring the good times. Evolve from the drone style of life. It's possible I guess.

It seems as if we are working hard and doing the drone thing all to live for the good times later. What if there is no later. What if later is now, and if
we don't maximize now than we're doomed. We're drones, we wouldn't know the difference. We are already caught up. Let the good times be now, and just succumb
to lifestyle that you have unconsciously built. Hopefully the good times will come more than often.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Moronic beauty.....

She was young, sexy, and innocent. She smelled of exotic oils, and her eyes were the
color of caramel. Her hair smelled of spring fragrance, and her smile was bright like the sun at noon. Where did she come from? If beauty had a physical description, it was definitely her. From her young adult life, she was dangerous, breaking hearts without even speaking to people. As she sashayed by, people would stare with jealously. I wonder where she came from?

As a young woman, and commonly as young women do, she attempted to act innocent. She had this moronic beauty of youth, that was so shallow, but still unstoppable. How could she get away with this constantly. Were we that amazed, and that selfish with our wants, that we didn't care how she treated us? Her lies were see through, here words were unbelievable, but we still fed into her ego. She would commonly cause rain storms just to get noticed, but she failed to realize that people noticed her anyway.

Her sensitive nature was so disarming. She always kept a boyfriend, because she wouldn't dare be alone. She needed to be comforted and like all men we were ready to comfort her. Who cares if she really knew how shallow we were, evil is as evil does. She was just as bad. She never asked for anything, because she received everything she wanted. Does that make sense? Some people just have their way.

Her moronic beauty of youth was her weapon, and even though it would only last through her youth, she was definitely milking it til the end. Sometimes, I would wonder if she even had a clue. Was she so jaded that she didn't know that she was different? Did she know that she took people through emotional roller coasters because of her ADHD, along with her confused ways. Nah, she couldn't. It seems as if she had multiple personalities, separate identities. She was sweet to me, an ass to you, and a slut to him. How could it be?

Ignorance is bliss, I wonder if her bliss was satisfying. They say that it takes a mother 18 years to build a man, but it takes another woman only 15 minutes to destroy him. She destroyed us, but only because we wouldn't have it any other way.

Not the same

I've come to think that writing and thinking about something is actually better than carrying out the act. It seems as if we carry out our wants it's just
not the same as dreaming about it. We dream of love, riches, spiritual cleansing, and peace, but when we obtain these things we don't want appreciate them.

I think its nice to talk about love, write about love, and dream about love. I think it's nice to wonder about how you'll express your feelings, and how you
spoil your mate. It's great! But, it seems different when your actually in the middle of it. When your making love, meaning getting to know someone, and
your telling this person what your capable of and what you would like to do. It's exhilarating. Both of you are on the edge of your seats. In my experiences,
it never plays out that way. Upon inception I'm hooked and shortly there after I began to think about the negativity that love brings. That you have to
work out to many quirks to get it comfortable for the two of you. It's crazy. Love is such a complex feeling. Through my eyes, I've never seen someone express
it the way that I can. Should love be evenly matched?

When I obtain my riches, I can almost guarantee that it will be everything that I thought it was. Fun, fun, and more fun. On the contrary though, I know it
will be pain, pain, and more pain. That I will act a fool at first, exhaust all of my wants, and then start to wonder what it's all worth. Every time I
obtain something, I wonder why I even wanted it. It's like when a baby cries for wanting something that doesn't even make sense, like a piece of plastic.
Have I finally come to terms that this famous quote is the best way of life "Want not have not!" Nah, I need my shit. I want to obtain it, and take full
advantage of what's coming to me. Trust!

Spiritual cleansing is in the eye of the beholder. I wonder what's your idea of spiritual cleansing? I've touched my own soul, spoke to the heavens, and
saw God in my dreams. It was amazing, but still I feel empty. I feel that there is more. I'm beginning to think that I just can't be satisfied. It's a wonder
that I constantly search for answers that no one seems to give me. That when I speak to my higher power, the answer I get is it's inside of you. Hmmm, if it's
inside of me than I hopefully sooner than later I will pull it out. I want to be in-sync with myself. I want the world to exist, while I coexist with it,
spiritually.

To obtain peace we must reach deep inside of our hearts. Can we reach it in our minds, can we see what the answers are. What if we turned ourselves inside out,
would we see the truth? Is peace actually finding it within, or is peace finding it out. I'm in peace with myself. I'm trying to get a peace of mind, but it seems
as if people are always trying to get a piece of mine. So, how do I obtain my peace? The answer is usually in the question. I have to get peace from within.......

When all of these things are obtained, I still will be there searching for the answer of something not yet discovered. Or at least, not yet discovered by me!

Monday, April 18, 2005

4 Twenties sake!

What is being in your twenties all about? Do you think it's about finding yourself? Do you think it's about defining self? Is it about making money, or is it about making someone else happy? All of these things are pushed upon us on a daily basis. They say being a teenager is very difficult. My teenage years were a breeze. We have to make the right choices, meet the right people, build and develop for our future. Wow.... All by being the same person. It's impossible to be the one same person inside and out. We all have multiple personalities. We all wake up wanting to be different, and while thinking differently, we end of in the same ship. It seems as if we all take different paths, but in up in the same destinations. How can that be? We all strive to be "different". What the heck is different? I meet people often, and they say I'm different than most. I guess because, in our twenties we are trying to define ourselves, and I guess it would be disappointing to end up like everyone else. Even though we claim to be different, how can you spot like individuals without carry out too much conversation? How can we determine this info? My idea of a serene life is to obtain much success under the radar. To be known without being known. To infect society, without society knowing it has been affected by me. Sorta like, a large company putting out a product, but you don't even know who the CEO is. It's amazing how we all have different agendas. Young souls have so much energy. So many aspirations. Why do we let life beat us down. I have aspirations, and that is to not let life beat me down. No matter how many times it does, I want to sustain my drive. Keep following through. Being in your twenties is hard. Trying to maintain your sanity, while trudging along with the daily grind. Your single and your not responsible for anything other than yourself, and you still can't barely maintain that. Lost! So lost! If God only gives us what we can handle, than I'm asking for more than I can handle. I want it all. Now is the time for me to except it all. For twenties sake, can I make it through. I'm almost done. I've made it through while accomplishing very little.

For twenties sake we will remember these times for the rest of our lives. How many people reflect back to their 30's? I imagine very little. When I look back, my twenties were like a constant vacation. Partying, laughing, crying, trying, and building. If I could be trapped in something, I would love for it to be the twenties.

-College
-Alcohol
-Friends
-Work
-Dreams
-Goals
-Partying
-Sex
-Money
-Fake friends
-First boss
-Roommates
-Life
-God

Twenties--------

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Erratic script

In the beginning everything was planned out perfect. Things seemed right. You knew exactly what you wanted. You smiled when you thought of the idea. When did things go wrong? The inception was beautiful. You saw a vision that by no means would fail. You pictured the completion and it was so. It happened, Life! Life through a curve ball and you weren't prepared to catch it. You planned right? What happened. Most things don't blind side us. We know when we fuck up. Sometimes we are blind sided by our own ignorance, but most of the time we ignore our own ignorance. Why is that? Oh yeah, Life! The moments in life will take you far past were you intended to go. It could take you to the mountain top, and knock you to the mountain bottom, all in one swoop. With our wits about us, we can land on our feet. We can over come all adversity if we just believe. Oh, this thing called life! Luckily for free thinking, and free will.

I remember the first time I jumped out there. It felt so good. It was like drinking water on a hot summers day. It was so amazing. Freedom along with serenity. Jumping out there was so great. I can't remember a better time. My pleasures mixed with the madness of being a young adult. Exhilarating! Endless possibilities mixed with youth. Wow! Ten years later, and it's still just as fun. Freedom, fantasy, life, and adversity.

Getting to know you would be great. Knowing your desires and your wants would be the best thing. You seem so interesting. Your words always make sense when you speak. With every word you leaving me dangling. Your definitely to good to be true. I want to get to know you. I want to know you better than anyone that has ever known you. I want to know you better than your mother, better than your best friend. Every since you looked at me love is not a want, love is now a need. We need to make this happen now, c'mon slim.

Exhilarating, exciting, and breathe taking. Right before you take the next step. That uncertain moment that you've been anticipating. Wow, go get it. Your mouth is watering and you know it's time. You can't even sleep, because it's coming and your so anxious. What are you going to do when the moment comes. Are you going to be ready? Jumping off the deep end isn't your style. What are you going to do?

We eat greasy fast food, but we don't eat pork.
We drink liquor but we don't eat pork.
We smoke black and milds, weed, and cigarettes, but we don't eat pork.
We don't exercise but we don't eat pork.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Just random thoughts that could never come out clearly. I just couldn't follow through!!!!!!!!! Has this ever happened to you?

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Futuristic

In order to meet ones goals, we must focus. We must maintain a sense of passion along with dedication. Find what you want and pursue it like you want it more than your next meal. Hunger for it, breathe it, live it, and pray for it. All things are possible. See what you want, and picture yourself there. Picture yourself above and beyond your end goal. Paint the vivid picture it is. You have to smell it. Your mouth must water for it. By any means necessary!

U+168=SUCCESS

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Dreams

Let's submerge ourselves, beneath what is. Can we connect like a two-way. Will you come to me like dreams in the night. I want to grasp you, press you against me, lay with you until the stars disappear. You are my vision. It's clear, it's so clear. How can this happen? Whisper your thoughts, and I will be your dream catcher. I will listen to your desires, and bring them close to my heart.....

Wow....... I thought of that. Even with all the negative experiences I've seen in my life. It's crazy. There still is hope. But I'm not ready!

Monday, April 11, 2005

Phoenix

If it's supposed to be this way, I don't ever want it to stop. If the feeling is supposed to be this way, I don't want it to stop. A graceful being can make the worst mood turn great. A delightful smile can bring all of the strong to their knees. You've brought me to my knees, and you've brought me to grips. Life with another can be better. Life alone doesn't seem so exhilarating any more. All the dreams alone have become dreams together. When you first appeared, you were like the phoenix. You were there, but than you vanished and than you appeared again. I thought I lost you. I'm glad you stuck around. I'm glad you were able to break through. You crossed the lines, you jump over the fence. How did you do it? How did you make such a strong thing collapse so easily. Was it timing or was it fate? Passion mixed with dedication. Wants mixed with needs. You prevailed and you disarmed me. Thank you. Thank you for being their when know one else wanted to be. Thank you for climbing. I appreciate you coming.
I call you phoenix because your arms spread like wings, your colors so vivid. You fly above the rest, and you make the weak strong. A beautiful thing to experience, I'm glad we get along.
Take me away, fly me above. Soar with me.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Busy Intersection

I woke this morning with so many things on my mind. It was the wierdest feeling. I woke feeling mentally drained. It feels as if I had a thousand thoughts with a million solutions. I thought about why I even thought about what I was thinking about it. It was once told that "A wise man's question contains half the answer.". If any of that is true then I have many answers. I wonder why we have the freedom to change, but most don't? I wonder why I wake up wanting to change, but I fall asleep the same person. Don't get me wrong. I have grown over time, but I haven't changed. I've evolved from who I once was, but that is the extent of it. I've learned, I've payed attention. But I'm still me........ I'm a loaner, a hater, and I'm everything that you think that I am not. Do you see it? Do you see it through my words. I'm trapped between the lines. Pull me out! I try to pull myself out, but it takes more than one for something great to happen. No great thing is done alone, but great things are thought alone. I've thought of the plan, help me carry it out.

The thoughts that are on my mind are weighing me down. I feel like I weigh a ton. I feel as if I'm at a busy intersection, and the light is green but I can't move. The horns are blowing, the people are yelling, and I'm still as the moment of silence. I hear so many things. So many bad things. No one stops to even think if I'm hurt, all they know is I'm at a intersection, and I'm not moving. I could be sick, my car could be stalled, but know you're all selfish. It's all about your wants. I can't move, or else I would. Trust, I don't want to stay at this intersection, I want to move on. Be that kind person that gets out of the car and ask me to see if I'm ok. Step out of your comfort zone. It won't hurt you.

Monday, April 04, 2005

A sold dream

The American dream and the pursuit there of is crazy. Buy a house, invest in your future, create a college fund, and save save save. It all can be gone tomorrow, but just in case, save! I really believe in all of those things, but sometimes I wish I could go to a place were those things didn't matter. Where the only thing that matters is what's on the table today, and the winter harvest. This new American dream, is killing me softly. Reading about the past always makes me feel jealous. They had it all so simple than. I have cell phones, cable, internet, cars, and various electronics. All of those things are supposed to make my life easier. I'm like no, it actually doesn't. Luckily we are very adaptive creatures. The American dream is sold for almost the cost of our souls. It seems to me like the only way to beat the game is to either be on the very top, where you have the money and power to do whatever you want, or be on the very bottom where all you think of is making it to the next day. All of us in the middle seem to be in so much trouble. Were stressed, confused, caught in a cycle that only fate could get us out of. Luckily we know how to play the game, and that game is give in. Give in to the dream of white picket fences..... The funny thing is we all think were different. That we don't chase the same things, but we really do. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong for wanting better, and living for twenty years later. It's crazy huh? We are living not for today, but for 20 to 30 years down the road from now. When I speak with people I notice that everyone is talking about what tomorrow brings, and I say all I see is myself on top of the structure looking down on people like a gargoyle on a gothic castle. The only thing is that it's lonely up there. It's not what I thought it would be. So now I change that plan and bring someone with me!

Can I soar like an eagle? Out of all living things on the earth, the eagle is the most faithful. An eagle will stay with their mate until there mate dies. That's crazy. I would love to meet a woman that would stay with me no matter what, until I pass. I mean now a days your lucky if you can keep your mate for a year. I'm looking for an eagle to soar with me. An eagle to change the American dream with me. Make it how we want to make it. Do what we want to do. Forget the rules. Let's break all of the rules. Break the normal pattern. Let's both do the wierdest thing, and run with it. Take a free fall off the deep in, and don't brace ourselves for the fall. If dying our hair pink, and getting piercings all over the body is something we want to do than do that. Forget the suit and tie, the weave and make up. Let's get real with it. Forget about what family says, and forget about what friends say. What do they know. The American dream is me. The American dream can be you. We can stand together on the mountain top. Let's make choices out of our own reasoning not others. That would be so real.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Hate or love it

With you
your circumstance is circumstantial.
your past is who you are today.
your short comings are understandable.
your past failures help to make you who you are.
your smile defines your mood.
your habits let me know who you are.
your stare let's me know if I would like you.
your lies are always explainable.
your opinion about life what will most likely make me like or dislike you.
your fundamentals will definitely define you whether your 25 or 50.
your soul never changes.
your complaints will most likely make me not like you.

With me
you will 9 times out of 10 dislike my opinion.
you will probably won't like our fundamental differences.
you probably will think I'm anal.
you will probably give up on me before we get to far.
you will find that I am secretive.
you will find out that I hold my past close to me.
you will find that I don't share to much.
you will find that I am THE introvert.
you will find that I love life, but it seems as if I would rather love it alone.
you will find that I can be sweet and mean all in the same hour.
you will find that I don't smile much outside, but I'm always smiling inside.
you will find that I hate people like me.
you will find that I love myself more than the law allows.
you will find that I am searching, for what I don't know.
you will find that I am here for all to see, but those that know me find me invisible.
you will find that I view most of the world at an abstract angle.
you will find that even though I believe, I have questions.
be yourself not this imaginary person.
tell me how it is not how you want it to be.
give it to me full throttle not half ass.
if it is it will be what it's supposed to be.
I will tell you how I feel. (that's the problem)


This is what you call a severe case of writers block!