Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Randomly speaking

When I look forward I forget about now. Silly me.
When I look backward I forget about now. Silly me.

It's a wonder I'm still living considering how I'm always living a head and behind. I'm shocked that I've made it this far.

I'm hurting now. Know one listens to me but God. It's not a bad thing, but the feeling sucks at times. Sometimes it's good to be heard.

I was talking the other day and the person I was speaking with totally ignored everything I said. It was rather annoying actually.

You may say that maybe I did something or said something to make that person ignore what I had to say, but nope. Actually, it happens often. I wonder if that person purposefully blocks me out. You know so irriated by your voice that they don't want to hear you........ That would suck majorly!

We'll be in conversation and they enjoy saying there bit, but when it's my turn it seems to get ignored or something else comes up......

It's a problem, but how do you address it. You can't. The defensive will come up and you know the rest.....

It's a shame out here...... I just want to be heard. I want my pain to be felt.

Wouldn't it be nice to express and someone actually be interested in what you we're saying.. That would be nice. Even if what you were saying wasn't all that interesting. Hmmm. Is that even possible? I know what is possible. Completely being absorbed of self.

Today's random thoughts are geared towards destroying and rebuilding. Is it possible to actually do that and reinvent your self? I really don't want to destroy and rebuild. I really want to build blocks as ladders and continue to climb.

If the curtain closes down on me, will I hear life asking for an encore? If life comes together for me the second before I die, will I be just as happy or will I still be miserable because I found out too late? Hmmm???? Especially if I didn't have the chance to use what I just learned.

Today marks a day of honor, fullfilment and revitalization. A time of making things my way.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you speak anything like you write, I'd probably get tired of words of self absorption as well. To be deep, self questioning and philosophical isnt always necessary when someone wants to carry a light hearted simple conversation.

12:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Follow the "Golden Rule" and it might just happen. Perhaps what you are getting is a reflection of what you are giving. Think about it.

7:20 PM  
Blogger Ifthoughtsweremoney! said...

This "Golden Rule" you speak of per person. There is no "Golden Rule" that standardized for everyone.

7:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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8:11 PM  

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