Empty seat

Getting along and staying along is hard to do. I've never met anyone that has understood me, but I've met many that I have understood. I've evaluated, given chances too, and walked in others worlds just to be in/on their level. I keep finding mountains out of mole hills instead of finding true mountains with peaks that are never attained. You see you never want the relationship to peak. Plateau is ok, but peak is the end.

I make adjustments to my behavoir. I reinvent my soul, and I still wind up alone........ Alone is so convincing. It's absolute like uncertainty. I wonder if the streets I travel and the stairs I climb, are congested with the wrong seeds. People come and grow in my life. Some by choice, others by accident. The ones I want never stay, and the ones I don't want end up enemies. How can it be? I just wanna be understood. I just want to exist next to someone that knows why I exist, or if they don't know at least there able to empathize with me.

Supposedly I've had that. Or at least if you let others tell it, but I truly believe I haven't, and if I have it or have had it I hope reality slaps me in the face and wakes me up in to this utopia of connecting with self and others.